It was pretty much a crap day. Doubts that I tried to keep at bay were steadily creeping into my psyche, leaking through the puncture holes of my resolve like a dam ready to burst.
Maybe I couldn't do this.
Yeah, I want to be a writer. Me and about a billion other people.
What makes me so special? Nothing..
I refer to these as bad energy days and they suck. In my life, these days are usually accompanied by makeup that doesn't look quite right, annoying arguments between my boys about who left the cereal bar wrapper on the couch, and five extra pounds that became suctioned to my hips overnight. Things are “off.” There is no balance; my day is like a bumpy ride on a teeter totter, my butt flying into the air when life decides to rocket downward on the other side and leave me stranded. Dangling with nowhere to go.
If you watch and listen, the universe tends to toss us what we need when we need it. This day was no exception. I had lunch scheduled with a friend who I adore, but see far too infrequently. A creative soul, like me, struggling to find the right path in life, I have never left a lunch with her feeling anything less than inspired and recharged. Friends like these are few and precious – they plug us back in when our power cord is hanging there and battery running low. This lunch was no exception.
Thank you, universe.
I spilled everything. I admitted my doubts and fears about a life left wandering, wanderlust so much more appealing in name than in application. I shared my doubts about being able to succeed at something where so many others have failed. To expect a different result for little old me with my botched makeup and arguing children seemed far-fetched. Perhaps I was shooting too high in life – perhaps there's something to be said for staying the course and being practical.
“You need to read The Crossroads Between Should and Must.”
She said this with such confidence that I scribbled the name of the book down and vowed to look it up immediately.
“And, buy the actual book. You'll want it on your coffee table.” A book that could not only uplift my spirit, but serve as a colorful accessory? Um, okay.
I bought the book. I loved its colors and texture, the thick cover suggesting that something valuable was guarded safely inside. It's unlike any other book that I've read. There's not a lot of reading, just a few words written on each page describing the author's journey of exchanging what she felt she should do in life for the must adventure that responded to her soul's calling. I devoured its message and was left feeling confident in one thing – my soul is lighter when I'm writing. It's hard to describe, but there is an energy shift when I'm expressing thoughts, and emotions, and stories through the written word. I feel lighter, and happier, and content. I feel fulfilled.
Thank you, universe.